I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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