Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
