been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
