there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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