Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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