So drunk, too bad you don't want this
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
