now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
