i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
