paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
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