I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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