6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
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