I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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