I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
