I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
kristin has been a bad kristin
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
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