Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
