help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
