Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
Randomize
