The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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