took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
