we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
