can u get pink eye on your cock?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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