So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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