What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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