Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
