just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
