This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
