At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
