dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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