two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
