honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
