Duck Duck Cougar?
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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