literally had 100 drinks last night.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
