If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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