the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
