Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
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