You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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