So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
