some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
