I murdered the dance floor call the cops
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
