Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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