Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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