Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
