I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
only you would photoshop your dick
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
