she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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