Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
