i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
