Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
