What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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