Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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