How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
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