google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
