so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
