We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
