We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Randomize
