He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
