I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
