i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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