Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
