its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
